Elizabeth

LIZ. MY POETRY ** "The Gift of Love" Death and destruction. Gone forever. Unhappy I seem, with out you here.

But a new light starts, with you light yellow fur. I can be happy again, with a new puppy to love.

It's the circle of life, and it heals all. (the puppy with light yellow fur is a golden retriver)

Lost

Lost in my own body. Alone and afraid I'm losing my connection to the world. What made me, me is gone. I'm clawing at the inside of this coffin, trying to escape. My nails are torn and turning black encrusted with blood. No one hears me trying to escape. I rott away slowly inside. 

I am The questioner The harbour of safety The punching bag A safe house

The muffler The wet shirt A phone thats always on The silent one

I am The secret keeper The defence The bringer of joy (sometimes) A locked box

The nght walker The listener A safe place to land The sham wow.   Unnamed I don't want to be afraid, but it's hard when my instincts are telling me to run. I don't want to be in physical pain to be emotionally whole. My tears still drip down my tired face. Emotional and physical, it's not so different any more. 

Cyber Wimp I log onto the computer, A message appears on the screen. "Your and ugly loser, you have no friends" I smile slightly knowing its not true. "You act like your so cool, when everyone hates you." The monitor looks at me, daring to say more. "You used to be my friend, but time and again all you did was stab me in the back. You're not worth my time." and I went off line.

My computer is on. I type the words. The reply appears on my screen. I could tell her; it's just easier online. Then a smaller part of me speaks, "Who are you kidding? You just hide behind your screen." Inside I know I'm really afraid. Another message appears on the screen. It hit me hard, though I should hae expected it, but her words still stung, raking across my heart like rusty knives

Accept I'm happy inside and out. My sadness has disappeared. I have not been so happy in a long time. What I have done wrong, I have accepted. The wrong others have done to me, forgiven. If I don't care it can't hurt. If I forgive and you don't, it only hurts you.

The pain in my chest, eating me alive. The sorrow in my eyes, further then my soul. The broken state of myself. My heart is trying to claw it's way out of me. The pain unbearable, unable to be hidden from others. They all suffer with me, dragging them under with me.

I can't hide from the truth. I can't hide from the pain. It is the truth that causes the pain. It is also the pain that causes the truth. I wish that we could be with out the pain, but we need to know the truth, and the truth can not be known with out the pain.

Live every day like your going to die. Take each breath like it's your first and last. Sing like no one is watching. Give everything that you have to offer. Let your emotions show in their purest forms. Do everything to your best ability. Give 100% because one day you might not be able to.